Doing it All, Having it All


I'm sure I'm not the only mother that has tried to have it all and do it all. A fellow art therapist once suggested to me that I was working too hard to be a "human doing" rather than allowing myself to be a "human being". Around the same time an IBCLC friend of mine shared the mantra "You are enough, you have enough, you do enough" with me. I may have scoffed in their faces; I can't remember... Let's just say that I'm am a highly motivated individual who struggles with patience. I first learned about patience having to ride two subways and two trains to and from graduate school in Manhattan twice a week. It was a lesson that I revisited waiting to find a job once I moved to Arizona (it took 3 months), and then again during my pregancy. First of all there is the whole experience of waiting from the moment you get the positive pregnancy test until actually giving birth. Additionally due to minor complications , I spent a few weekends and then the final weeks of pregnancy on bedrest, because I struggle with saying "when." When my OB and midwife learned that I was out in 105 degree weather at 38 weeks pregnant painting faces and doing the cha-cha slide at a work event, they sent me to my room to think about what I had done, and to prepare for my life to slow down. As much as I didn't want any part of it, after giving birth, I was able to recognize how important this preparation was for my postpartum adjustment. Suffice it to say that I'm well acquainted with waiting and cultivating patience. I'm not great at it, but I'm familiar with it.

As an adult there is nothing I have waited for longer than to earn the certificate that you see above- the certificate of registration that acknowledges that I am a professionally competant registered art therapist. It took me 6 years to earn this peice of paper, which I initially expected to get within the first year or two of my career. But as with all things, life had its own plan. In the end, I worked steadily to acheive this milestone through a surprise pregnancy, a divorce, single motherhood, having worked at 4 different jobs and living in 6 different homes. It's been quite the ride!

I have had to accept that doing it all and having it all, when and in the way I want, isn't always an option because first and foremost I am a mom. And it is my desire to be emotionally present for myself and for my daughter. But I'm grateful to say that becoming a parent, and living as a single parent hasn't held me back from any of my goals. In fact being a mother has increased my drive to acheive as a role model for my own pint-sized future leader.

If I have one take way from this entire experience it is that just like wizards and babies- professional milestones never arrive late nor early, but right on time.

#goals #singleparent #divorce #postpartumadjustment

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